Nurse Healers by Kate Loving Shenk

Nurses And Post Traumatic Stress Disorder

Posttraumatic stress disorder(PTSD) is an anxiety disorder that
can develop after exposure to one or more terrifying events in
which grave physical harm occurred or was threatened.

It is a severe and ongoing emotional reaction to an extreme
psychological trauma. This stressor may involve someone's actual death
or a threat to the patient's or someone else's life, serious
physical injury, or threat to physical and/or psychological integrity,
to a degree that usual psychological defenses are incapable
of coping. In some cases it can also be from profound psychological
and emotional trauma, apart from any actual physical harm. Often times,
however, the two are combined.

PTSD is a condition distinct from Traumatic stress, which is of less
intensity and duration, and combat stress reaction, which is transitory. PTSD has
also been recognized in the past as shell shock, traumatic war neurosis,
or post-traumatic stress syndrome (PTSS).

PTSD is believed to be caused by psychological trauma. Possible sources
of trauma includes experiencing or witnessing childhood or adult
physical, emotional or sexual abuse. In addition, experiencing
or witnessing an event perceived as life-threatening such as physical
assault, adult experiences of sexual assault, accidents, drug addiction,
illnesses, medical complications, or the experience of, or employment
in occupations exposed to war (such as soldiers) or disaster
(such as emergency service workers).

Traumatic events that may cause PTSD symptoms to develop include violent
assault, kidnapping, torture, being a hostage, prisoner of war or concentration camp victim,
experiencing a disaster, bad car accidents or getting a diagnosis of
a life-threatening illness.

Children may develop PTSD symptoms by experiencing sexually traumatic
events like age inappropriate sexual experiences. Witnessing traumatic
experiences or learning about these experiences may also cause the
development of PTSD symptoms.

The amount of dissociation that follows directly after a trauma predicts PTSD.

Individuals that are more likely to dissociate during a traumatic event
are considerably more likely to develop chronic PTSD.

Which brings us to Nurses and PTSD.

I am a member of the "Bereavement Team" at my hospital. We are mostly concerned
with families who lose babies before they are born, who birth dead babies or
who deliver premature live babies who subsequently die.

Yet the nurses who care for these families undergo trauma and the more cases
we have on a weekly or monthly basis, the more severe the trauma, or dare I say, PTSD.

Our team writes personal notes to the nurses involved in the more difficult cases,
and we have a Care For The Care Giver at our yearly Bereavement Skills Day.

Yet this may not be enough.

Even though we are recognizing the condition, a note or a sympathetic nod
will not erase the grief that a nurse often feels in these situations.

She may have lost a pregnancy in her past; she may have been sexually abused
or raped when she was young; she may be an Adult Child Of An Acoholic;
she may have addiction challenges herself.

She may have been raised in a war-torn country; she may have been or is a victim
of Domestic Violence; she may have a debilitating chronic illness or
perhaps someone close to her has this.

In any event, our bereavement team can help our nurses.

Examples of PTSD Triggers

* For an auto accident survivor: The smell of gasoline
* For a combat veteran: The sound of a helicopter or firecrackers
* For a rape victim: The sight of a person suddenly appearing around the corner
* For a carjacking victim: The song that was playing on the radio at the time of the assault

Symptoms of avoidance

Symptoms of avoidance are prominent in PTSD. You may persistently avoid
situations that remind you of the traumatic event you experienced,
minimize the event’s significance, or push all thoughts of it out of
your mind. Avoidance can also take the form of detachment and apathy.

Symptoms of avoidance include:

* Avoiding thoughts, feelings, or conversations associated with the trauma
* Avoiding activities, places, or people that remind you of the trauma
* Inability to remember important aspects of the trauma
* Loss of interest in activities and life in general
* Feeling detached or estranged from other people
* Feeling emotionally numb, especially toward loved ones
* Sense of a limited future (you don’t expect to live a normal life span,
get married, have a career)

Symptoms of increased arousal

PTSD can cause you to feel and react as if you’re constantly in danger.
In this state of chronic hyperarousal, your mind and body is on constant
red alert, making it impossible to fully relax, be productive, or enjoy life.

The PTSD symptoms of increased arousal and anxiety include:

* Difficulty falling or staying asleep
* Irritability or outbursts of anger
* Difficulty concentrating
* Hypervigilance, or being constantly “on guard”
* An exaggerated startle response, or jumpiness

Treatments for post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD)

Treatments for PTSD relieve symptoms by helping you deal with the trauma
you’ve experienced. Rather than avoiding the trauma and any reminder
of it, you’ll be encouraged in treatment to recall and process the
event that caused your PTSD. In treatment for PTSD, you’ll also:

* Explore your thoughts and feelings about the trauma
* Work through feelings of guilt, self-blame, and mistrust
* Learn how to cope with and control intrusive memories
* Address problems PTSD has caused in your life and relationships

In addition to offering an outlet for emotions you may have been bottling up,
treatment for PTSD will also help restore your sense of control and reduce
the powerful hold the memory of the trauma has on your life.

Cognitive-behavioral therapy is believed to be the most beneficial treatment
for PTSD. There are several types of cognitive-behavioral therapies.

* Exposure therapy - According to a October 2007 report issued by
the Institute of Medicine, there is strong evidence for the effectiveness of exposure
therapy in PTSD treatment. Exposure therapy for PTSD involves carefully and
gradually “exposing” yourself to thoughts, feelings, and situations that remind
you of the trauma. Often, you’ll start by focusing on a memory that is upsetting but
still manageable, then slowly work your way up to more upsetting memories in a
process known as systematic desensitization. As you think about and re-experience
these memories in a safe, controlled environment, they will start to feel less
intense and overwhelming.

* Cognitive restructuring – In cognitive restructuring, the focus of treatment
is to identity upsetting thoughts about the traumatic event–particularly thoughts
that are distorted and irrational—and replace them with more accurate, balanced
views. For example, you may blame yourself for failing to save a fallen comrade,
even if you did everything you could. Cognitive restructuring would help you
challenge this troubling thought and learn to look at what happened in a healthier way.

* EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) – EMDR incorporates
elements of cognitive-behavioral therapy with eye movements or other forms of
rhythmic, left-right stimulation, such as hand taps or sounds. For example, in
EMDR therapy you might talk about the traumatic event while following your
therapist’s finger back and forth with your eyes. Eye movements and other
bilateral forms of stimulation are thought to work by “unfreezing” the brain’s
information processing system, which is interrupted in times of extreme stress,
leaving only frozen emotional fragments which retain their original intensity.
Once EMDR frees these fragments of the trauma, they can be integrated into a
cohesive memory and processed.

* EFT: Tapping on strategic pressure points while at the same time,
saying phrases that release the anxiety associated with the trauma.

Positive ways of coping with PTSD include:

* Learning about trauma and PTSD.
* Joining a PTSD support group
* Practicing relaxation techniques
* Confiding in a person you trust
* Spending time with positive, supportive people
* Avoiding alcohol and drugs

Our Bereavement Team can guide our nurses in the direction of
full recovery.

Kate Loving Shenk
Nursing Career Transformation

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Banish The Blahs by Joan Adams and Betty DeLorme

Joan Adams and sister Betty DeLorme have compiled a great
electronic book on different approaches to staying on a
high vibrational plane, how to lift your mood when feeling
blue, how to take action when you are feeling sad.

I am proud to say that I wrote a chapter for their book
called: "Thoughts Are Alive!!"

Each chapter gives direction on Banishing The Blahs, lifting
your mood and boosting your spirit! In fact, the act of
reading these chapters immediately rises your mood,
whatever it is
you are experiencing!

Here is a link to buy Joan and Betty's book right now!!

https://paydotcom.com/r/45342/katelovingshenk/18145833/

I thought I'd make a list of my own personal favorite mood
enhancers to add to the treasure chest:

1) Turn off the Television.

I like to be up on what is happening in the world, but
watching the news is a downer I no longer wish to
participate in. The pundits tell people how to think based on their own
prejudice, they tell people how to vote, and in essence, no longer
objectively report the news.

2) Sit in your favorite chair and bask in a sun beam.

3) Meditate with your favorite cat resting on your knee.

4) Seek out periods of silence every day.

5) Concentrate on the Life Force present behind each in
and out breath, all day long. These are private and joyous
three dimensional moments you share only with yourself and can
be done no matter what is going on around you.

6) Prevent depression--avoid Crazymakers.

http://nursehealers.typepad.com/my_weblog/2008/05/crazymakers-in.html

7) Do not participate in gossip or join others when they
are complaining. You will feel much better by avoiding the
negativity.

8) Start your own blog and write several posts a week. Do
this only if you love to write. This will help you because
you are sharing your talents with the world.

9) Encourage people to comment on your blog. That way an
open discussion ensues and you feel connected to your
audience.

10) Sit, walk and sleep with your dogs.

11) Create a "dream board" as Joan describes in her
electronic book called "10 X 10." This is a free Electronic
Book and you can have it by going here:

http://www.joyfulacquisitions.com/

12 )Amanda Goldston recommends an "Ideal Day Fun Card" in
Joan and Betty's book. This involves first of all writing down
everythingyou can think of that you would BE, DO, or Have every day
that brings you joy and also is Fun!!

Then you find pictures that represent these things and
paste and laminate these pictures on a 3X5 card and carry it around
with you.

Everything on this card should make you smile! Touch the
card in your pocket several times a day. The power of this visualization tool
is evidenced by your dreams and visions manifesting faster into your
life.

13) Go out at night and gaze into the starry sky. Learn
the constellations and pick them out. Identify the so-called ecliptic and
recognize the Astrological constellations there: Aries, Pisces, Gemini,
Cancer, Leo etc.

Star gazing is even more fun with a telescope. Naturally
you will want to do this at a location removed from the bright lights
of the city.

14) Figure out when a lunar eclipse is going to happen.
Then make sure you are available to in-joy it. This celestial event is
soothing, calming and meditative. My husband and
I recently watched an eclipse together and we agreed that
that this was wonderful quality time.

Time slowed down, we held hands, and watched the moon in
all of her phases until she was dark, except for a faint outline of the
moon's circumference.

I read that this particular eclipse saved Christopher Columbus and his
crew so many moons ago.

He read in his Almanac that an eclipse was going to occur
the following night. He and his crew were held captive by the Indians who
threatened to kill them.

Columbus said: The moon will disappear then will return
because you allowed us to live.

And the rest is his-story.

15) Stroke your dog and/or cat and kiss them. Throw balls
for your dog. Massage her back.
Clip her nails. Brush her coat. Watch for the look of
gratitude which beams from her joyful face.

16) Learn to fully embrace life. Allow resistance to What
Is to simply melt away. Be in the moment where you find yourself. Allow that
moment to expand and realize that this is the only moment, not a series of
moments on a linear time belt.

It all is right Now. Learn to experience this and allow it
to grow.

Here is a link to Joan and Betty's book to lift your mood now!!!

https://paydotcom.com/r/45342/katelovingshenk/18145833/

Kate Loving Shenk
Nursing Career Transformation

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Crazymakers In Your Life

I had plans to review two books and write articles about each
one, but my plans were derailed by a Crazymaker.

Ah, so why not write an article about Crazymakers and Crazymaking?

The scenario involved a family member, as do many cases although bosses,
co-workers and friends can just as easily be the people carrying the
Crazymaking gifts.

I use the word gifts because these situation have the potential to help you
stand your own ground, stay firm within your own boundaries and to allow
people to act out their own stuff, realizing it is just that:
projections of pain and suffering (right into YOUR lap), fragments
from the past, fear of the future and even death.

I first heard the term Crazymakers in "The Artist's Way" by Julia
Cameron. Since that time, the antennae are always on the alert for situations
that take me away from my writing.

According to Julia Cameron: "Crazymakers are those personalities that
create storm centers. They are often charismatic, frequently charming,
highly inventive and powerfully persuasive. And for the creative person in their
vicinity, they are enormously destructive.

"Crazymakers create dramas--but seldom where they belong. Crazymakers
are often blocked creatives themselves. Afraid to effectively tap their
own creativity, they loath to allow that same creativity in others. It makes
them jealous. It makes them threatened. It makes them threatened at your expense."

Ah yes, you are entitled to your opinions, judgments and reactions but do not
expect me to save you from yourself, says I.

I have an appointment with the clean blank white page.

You don't have to like what I write.

You don't have to read what I write.

But I am happy to say, I will keep on writing no matter what.

And as Julia Cameron also says, "I practice what I preach: If you dump drama
into my life, I will put it, and you, onto the page."

Why would I do this? because Crazymakers don't have to cause us to question our
motives, our art or our integrity as a person.

I have an appointment with the moment at hand that leads me to pick up the
fountain pen of choice, and to joyfully write exactly what inspires me at that time.

This is my unwavering committment: with the pen, the paper, the text editor and
keyboard.

Synchronistically, I picked up a book on the subject: "Dealing With the Crazymakers In
Your Life," by Dr. David Hawkins.

Crazymakers can "hook" you if you are unaware. Awareness and alert consciousness will help
to shorten the time you are effected by this venom.

The following 10 keys will help you deal with the Crazymakers in your life:

1) Realize that by reacting negatively to the Crazymakers you strengthen that
negativity within yourself.

2) If you condemn the Crazymaker, you are displacing negativity onto the Crazymaker which
she/he has already done to you.

3) Labeling a Crazymaker a Crazymaker may help at first to identify
the upsetting situation but to successfully detach and unhook from the situation,
you need to move beyond the labels by grounding yourself in the breath and
the here and now.

4) By detaching from the label of Crazymaker and from the Crazymaker herself,
you allow yourself to settle into your core, your essence and gain peace of mind
in the situation.

5) If you feel hurt or even crazy by the situation, realize that you have created a
mental image of yourself and a story about yourself that now wants to defend against
perceived accusation.

6) When you realize that you are reacting with your egoic mind (based upon past conditioning),
you naturally begin the process of forgiveness of yourself (because you reacted)
and also for the Crazymaker, who was doing the best she knew how to do in that moment.

7) Disidentify with the need to be right within the situation. Whatever you are engaged in,
whatever makes you feel more alive, get back to that project.

8) After becoming conscious about how you've been hooked by the Crazymaker, sit with
yourself in silence and feel the inner spaces, the stillness, and reconnect with the
consciousness that heals all wounds.

9) Walk in nature, write in your journal, unhook from the guilt and from the need to
defend.

10) Lastly, you have an appointment with the Joy of Living; find that joy; elevate
your vibrations, turn off the TV.

Be alive to the happiness that already exists, and when you do, you have come
home to your True Self.

Kate Loving Shenk
Nursing Career Transformation

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Buz McGuire and "The Power Of Release"

In honor of finally reaching 21 complaint free days, I dedicate
this article to Buz McGuire, author of "The Power Of Release"
and creator of "Masters of Release."

Buz's latest Electronic Book explores the art of letting go, or
release, and gives the world a gift of positive benefit.

I am proud to say that I contributed a bonus for this wonderful book.

The achievement of 21 days of complaint free living followed a
formula that Buz outlines in his book, "The Power of Release."

1) Choosing to feel good (God)

2) Ability to make a decision

3) And then taking immediate action to follow through with the decision
which Buz calls the art of making a quality decision.

The impetus behind going 21 days without complaining rested on my
desire to feel good by not engaging in the complaints, gossip or
criticism of the people in my life, in the news or anywhere else.
So I made the decision to follow Will Bowen's recommendations in
"A Complaint Free World."

I started by immediately taking a loose rubber band from one wrist to
the other the moment I complained out loud.

I had to start over several times.

But now I am happy to report, the experiment was a success!

Throughout these 21 days, I had to let go of any need to voice strong
opinions, annoyances, or to join in any conversation that berated any
other person, including managerial decisions affecting our
Labor and Delivery Unit.

This was especially difficult in Pennsylvania while we worked
toward the 4/22/08 primary. I did not join in criticizing any candidate
and publically said I liked all three equally.

During this time, I began to study Eckhart Tolle's book, "A New Earth", and Thich Naht
Hahn's, "Path of Emancipation," while studying the Oprah/Tolle webinar on Tolle's book,
all focusing on the art of living in the present moment.

Buz McGuire states that we must simply make a decision to halt all negativity
and the knee jerk reactions that accompany such thoughts.

And I think the key to doing this rests on living in the Now with purpose
and determination.

By living in the Magnificient Present Moment, the past cannot take hold. All the
reactions and assumptions that are rooted on preconditioned learning from the past,
as far back as our childhood, vanish with purposeful inner attention on
the here and now.

Tolle states that reactions are of the ego which is inward pollution, similar to the
toxic pollution that now threatens to take over our beautiful Mother Earth.

When we breathe in and out consciously, the past with all the reactions and
assumptions which never reflects our authentic selves, cannot exist.

When thoughts arise to detract from the flow of living, gently bring yourself
back to the breath, to the Now, and the reactions and preconceived notions
(false beliefs) simply disappear.

Once I made the decision to cease the complaining, unseen forces delivered further
insight to allow for the successful completion of this project and passion.

Choosing to be happy was the first step.

Happiness and complaining cannot and do not coexist.

Making the decision to take the 21 complaint free challenge involved letting go
of situations that drew me into the drama, into the "story" of "isn't
this terrible," and "how horrible is that?"

Now it's time to make another decision: Go for another 21 day complaint free
challenge, one moment, one second at a time.

This time, I made the decision to take a partial Vow of Silence. Naturally, I
will answer questions when asked, will educate my patients, will say only
the necessary and kind words needed to communicate with my husband, friends
and coworkers.

Otherwise, I will listen, and hear the silence that underlies all creation.

And in those quiet spaces, release all that has gone before.

Everyday poses many challenges that are best served by letting go of all
resistance that stands in the way of "what is."

"Nothing Real can be threatened,
Nothing unreal exists.
Therein lies the peace of God."

A Course In Miracles

Kate Loving Shenk
Nursing Career Transformation

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"A New Earth" Webinar

The Eckhart Tolle/Oprah Winfrey webinar exploring each chapter
in depth of "A New Earth: Awakening To Your Life's Purpose" has
deepened my awareness and practice of Mindfulness, a spiritual
discipline I've loved for many years.

The webinar is a little over 1/2 done and each week, several million
more people are downloading and streaming it. People call in and ask
Oprah and Eckhart great questions about the concepts in the book. It's
a great pleasure to watch Eckhart Tolle teach the spiritual principles
calmly and peacefully and when he becomes excited by a certain concept,
he half chuckles and giggles, which is fun to watch!

I went to my Oral Surgeon today for an implant, carrying "A New Earth"
under my arm. The surgeon immediately made a comment about the book and
the webinar on Oprah.com.

So we discussed the ideas in the book. What I noticed is that he "got it."
He knew exactly what I was talking about when I said that the book is about
how to live mindfully, consciously and in the Now. When I said the Egoic Mind
can be eradicated by present moment living, the surgeon went into a rant
about rude behavior, unkind people and violence in American Society.

I said, Yes but you don't need to react to the chaos. Inner peaceful presence
is always available for your pleasure and inward sense of solace.

I wondered if he was referring to a client who was having a melt down in the
waiting room as I was led back to my exam room. She insisted that the office
did not call her that morning to tell her about her rescheduled appointment.
The woman was angry, tense and had the look of someone who was just about to
commit a violent act right there in the waiting room.

The other people there looked anxious as she kept yelling at the receptionist.

Eckhart Tolle would call this woman's negative energy her "pain body."

As we reacted negatively to her energy, our own pain body was triggered.

The pain body is the energy field of old emotions that live in almost every
human being. The pain body is not just individual in nature. It accounts for
all the suffering of collective humanity as in the case of rape, pillage,
tribal warfare, wars, slavery and genocide.

The pain body is an addiction to unhappiness.

So there it was in the waiting room today: A living breathing pain body
that triggered everyone else's pain body to react, to feel better than,
to judge this woman and even to use her as an example as to why people
in today's society are so screwed up.

Since so few of us like going to the Dentist let alone an Oral Surgeon,
the pain body is perhaps more easily triggered in places such as these.

This is a beautiful example of an activated pain body, but every day
we can find at least one. The beauty is found when reaction ceases, and we
become the Compassionate Presence or witness who really is a spark of
our own divinity.

True happiness arises out of present moment attunement and is always
available as soon as we allow it!

I loved the way Tolle describes dogs: as Guardians of Being.

As I watched and absorbed the webinar, I simultaneously took care of my dog
Mukunda, as he recovered from major surgery, the removal of 3 large cysts: 1
from the left side and 2 from the right side.

Both of my dogs, Mukunda and Ulysses, like it best when I'm focused on their antics,
when I hang out with them exclusively, when I walk with them, throw balls for them,
swim in the river and ocean with them, and stroke, brush and tell them how
much I love them.

When I absorb myself in cyberspace, read a book or especially when I talk
on the phone, Mukunda barks excitedly, reminding me to resume my love affair with
him.

The world tells me these dogs are spoiled. But I know that they are telling me
to Be Here Now, to look to them to best teach me eactly how to do this.

So I look to them to teach me how this is done.

And they have been my best teachers, counselors, companions and all around best pals.

I look to them.

I look up to them.

They are my Guardians of Being.

The waiting rooms of the world may always have unhappy people in them, people who
still can absorb the truth that the present moment is exactly where their happiness
is found, even if the Nowness is found in the waiting room of an Oral Surgeon.

I can't take my dogs there. But they will always be found in my heart, where ever I go,
in the joy of the quiet mind.

Kate Loving Shenk
Nursing Career Transformation

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My Day With Mukunda, Part 2

It's been two weeks since I stopped watching the news.

And one week since Mukunda had his surgery.

And Now, we are hanging out by the river. Suddenly, the days
are warmer, the pale green hue of springtime is deepening
with every moment.

My friends ask me: What was it like to watch your dearest
companion be sliced into and stitched back up for a total
of three hours?

Frank, our Vet and friend kept asking: How are you holding
up, Kate?

And I thought, How am I really holding up? Could I faint? I
hadn't eaten. How embarrassing it would be to faint after Frank
so graciously allowed me into the operating room.

So I dropped the idea of fainting and got into the experience,
chatting with Frank about mutual friends, and discussed the days when
I was nursery school teacher to Frank's daughter, now also a Veterinarian.
Muki's heart monitor reassurred me of his continuing physical life.
Otherwise he did look as if he died, reminding me of the time I
saw 8 of my dogs after they were shot to death by a neighbor who hated
"Hippys," and who later was said to embezzle 8 million dollars from
the Republican Party in Lancaster County.

Or so the story goes.

At the time, the sight of my lifeless companions, done in by so much
violence, prompted me to wait 28 years before before I could
bring myself to get another dog: Thus Mukunda, then Ulysses four years later,
the greatest friends I have ever had.

The days since the surgery have been quiet. The moments spent
stroking my dogs, watching sunbeams bounce prism rainbows off Mukunda's paws
and Ulysses eyelashes, listening to birdsong, watching the ever quickening
pale greenery, marveling at the Daffodil and harvesting newly sprouted Nettle to
sprinkle on the food I prepare every night for these dogs, has been an
education in Being, In-Joyment, in Pure Peace, and also a touch of Spring
Fever, which I never want to end.

These dogs are representatives of the spiritual realm, messengers and teachers,
to teach what it truly means to live in the present moment.

The dogs are not concerned about tomorrow, nor do they obsess about the past.
They love harmony and quiet and love.

In fact, they thrive on it.

My dogs abhor fights between humans. I call these creatures my harmony barometers.
When I get tense and anxious, my dogs remind me: Forget about it.

Get back to harmony, they tell me.

They act as a tuning fork that resonates only with Joy, Love, Peace and
Enlightenment.

And when I am with them, their need for love and peace is exactly what I need.
We resonate together to create a harmonious space.

These dogs tune me into my higher, infinite and eternal awareness.

When I am with them, I truly am happy, in a timeless realm.

I am convinced they are guardian angels, God's messengers for peace and silence,
the space between the notes, the quiet at 3 am every morning.

The dogs remind me to listen. They remind me to cease judgment of all
creatures great and small.

They were happy when I turned off the news, where all the pundents
scream and yell about impending doom.

Wow!! Why did I watch it so long? No matter. It's off now, and is off
for good. That's the promise I made to my dearest friends, Ulysses and Mukunda.

I like it that the dogs don't talk as conversation and endless analysis. Yet
they do converse but silently, through intuition, through loving glances,
and as in the case of Mukunda, sometimes with loud barks when he sees a human
friend he recognizes.

Ulysses is even more silent than Muki. He often looks like a giant tortoise as he
makes his way to his customary place beneath the kitchen table.

And now as I sit on my sun porch, and darkness descends, even the birds have ceased their song.

Ulysses lies beside my writing arm on the couch, and Mukunda lies at my feet. He is
wearing a teeshirt to protect his stiches for yet another week. When the tee gets dirty,
I have several others that are working well. I especially like the Planned Parenthood
tee, that on a dog who never was "fixed." He never needed to be. He always stayed close by,
he loves people, all dogs and children.

Ulysses is another story. He is a Golden Retriever. He's supposed to be mellow, friendly
and lead the thieves to the family jewels.

But Ulysses kills groundhogs, squirrels, (if he can get them), hates other
dogs except for Mukunda, whom he worships, and is fiercely protective.

A man approached me in the park one time and Ule's hair stood on end and he
snarled and lunged at the man.

Ule is my Old Yeller. Mukunda is my Saint Reborn.

When these dogs die, I will not fall apart but will be put back together
because they taught me how to live, how to love and forgive. And in their
love for me, I have learned to love myself.

Their presence in my life has shown me the Presence that resides within
myself and everyone else.

Their Being-ness has taught me to slow down, turn off the TV, to sit in the
night and listen to sound and silence.

Walking with them night and day has acquainted me with the sky, the clouds,
the identified and unidentified objects that soar beyond the clouds.
We often walk along the river that the dogs have always known.

The heron silently skims the river surface and is quite a gift to behold.

The geese chase Ule while he swims and scold him when he reaches the shoreline.

These Dogs are Gods.

They are beauty in all guises.

Words are inadequate but may help you to transform your heart, as you read
them, one by one.

Kate Loving Shenk
Nursing Career Transformation

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Grief Itself

My friend John died on Sunday.

Today is Wednesday.

As I allow my mind to travel over the many years of our
friendship, I remember vividly the first moment I saw
John: at his mother's funeral. My parents, who have since passed,
were close to John's parents, who have also passed.

I remember my mother whispering in my ear, There is John, Alberta's
son.

His daughter and wife Elizabeth were standing closely by.

We were all Unitarian Universalist and we attended the funeral in
the church I was raised in.

Sun light streamed through the beautiful stain glass depicting the holy
saints of every religion known to human kind. A prism-like effect seemed to cast
a purple aura on the family, as they stood forlornly in their shared grief.

The last supper was open in the back of the church for the occasion.

John was also raised Unitarian.

I remember all the conversations we had about what it was like to
be a Unitarian from birth to that present moment.

Do we think differently, do we believe in God, are we more
open minded about every world religion?

I remember the church undergoing turmoil when a beloved
minister was ousted by the board. John investigated the inequities
of the situation and as the drama unfolded, reliably kept us informed
and supported the man faithfully.

Yet there was nothing we could do to keep the minister.

This caused sadness that John would often discuss over the years, causing him
to leave the Unitarian Church.

John and Elizabeth are renown musicians. They performed
their beautiful music locally, nationally and internationally,
John with his Cello, Elizabeth her Piano.

They were both child prodigys. They played music together with
soul and passion: classical, sometimes jazz and modern.

The first time John and Elizabeth divorced, they remarried under
our Willow Tree which also happened to be the anniversary of my
marriage to Tom.

It was a cloudless August day with great hope and promise of new lives,
new potential for us all.

Tom and I, Elizabeth's daughter Bonnie, my dad, who was still
strong and fully functioning, David Gramp, the minister, and Ipswitch,
our tiny calico cat who paraded back and forth, displaying her
approval and need to be included in an event that was lovely and
harmonious--were all in attendance.

Hansel the Ram and Nettle his faithful companion, kept a safe distance.

The ceremony was performed by the mighty Conestoga River that runs
courageously by the old Willow Tree that stands there still.

Within the past year, Elizabeth and John divorced again, this time
with no reconciliation.

John died of a broken heart while Elizabeth went on to fully embrace
her friends, her daughter and her grandson.

She was at peace.

She loved John but could not live with him.

But when the month of March revealed that John was deteriorating rapidly and
died minutes after Elizabeth told him she loved and forgave him,
the grief and gifts of the situation struck all of us who knew them both,
in the light of the returning sun.

Kate Loving Shenk
Nursing Career Transformation

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My Day With Mukunda

I hung out with my old dog Mukunda, today, as I do every day.

I took him to my friend Ellen's house and we exchanged the Mechano
treatment, only after we tossed a few rounds of ball and
marveled at how well Muki ignored Aslom, the cat.

We complimented him on his good manners. I took him for several
leisurely walks around Ellen's large city yard and we admired the
spring crocus, and snow drops between dark green chive.

During our treatments, Mukunda laid dutifully on the floor,
looking our way occasionally with a laughing pant.

He ate all of Aslom's cat food. He had the run of that big
old house and the yard, but he only wanted to be with us.

Later, I took him to the Vets. Muki has a tumor on the left
side of his body which has doubled in size since December.

Frank, our Vet, had a look of concern on his face as he examined and
palpated and probed. He thought that Muki looked awfully fat
but in reality, had only gained 4 pounds since the last visit.

Was it all the cat food he ate earlier?

Was it all the late night winter snacking?

Frank wondered, Could it be ascites?

Ascites is an ominous sign. The mere mentioned raised my pulse
rate.

Ascites is when the abdomen fills with fluid accompanied by a
cancer that has metastized.

But Muki didn't have a heart murmur, a good thing.

Before Frank would do the surgery, he did a chest xray and some
blood work to determine the health--or illness--of my old dog.

Holding him down on the xray table was a challenge, because he kept
nipping the technician. Drawing blood was no picnic either. He
snarled a few times, but I whispered in his ear how much I love him.

Naturally he calmed down because above all else, Muke loves the word "love."

Muke and I were ushered to the waiting room to wait for results
when our Great White Purinese neighbor, Baxtor, came in for an
appointment with his mistress to assess his allergies.

Muki and Baxtor immediately recognized each other and did a dance
around the other.

Muki journeys to see Baxter every morning and evening as a sacred
ritual to begin and end the day.

So as I waited for the test results, inwardly knowing I must face any
bad news that Frank might have, but also knowing that Mukunda is alert,
loves to eat, loves to sprint to the edge of the property several times
a day, (while at the same time, bothered by the fast growing tumor), so I
did not have an ominous feeling about what news Frank might have about
the test results.

As much as I love my Mukunda, and as much as I don't want him to die,
I know the time will one day come when he will die.

And I will join him the moment I draw my last breath.

Frank came out and said, You have to see this xray!! It is gorgeous!!

And, indeed it was: clear lungs, strong heart, succinct borders
around the liver and abdomen. Wow!! All those Mechano treatments
I give him are paying off!! as well as meals made from scratch, sprinkled
with brewers yeast and dried stinging nettle that grows prolifically along
the mighty Conestoga River bank that spans the front of our property.

And Muke regularly meditates with the humans in the house.

He knows what "meditate" means.

Then later, the blood work result revealed no elevation of white cells,
perfect liver enzymes, platelets excellent, Calcium within normal range,
and an above average hemoglobin level.

Frank, I said, There's one more very important consideration. Mukunda
and I have never been apart. I take him on every vacation, I've never
boarded him, and I work nights so he is always with another human being.

He needs to know that I will not desert him during his operation.

May I stay with him while he undergoes surgery?

Without hesitation, Frank said, Of course, Kate. He is your baby.

And I secretly wondered, How will I detach from my lovely beast?

Strict Spiritual practice is in order to prepare for this event.

To Be Continued.....

Kate Loving Shenk
Nursing Career Transformation

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Testimony For Congressional Hearing On Single Payer Health Delivery In Pennsylvania

My name is Kate Loving Shenk of Nursing Career Transformation. com
and a Staff Registered Nurse in Lancaster, Pennsylvania.

As a Health Care Professional, I see people who are between jobs,
who are in retirement, or starting a new business, or who want to
go back to school, or move from one job to another; and they
lose health coverage in the process, sometimes with catastrophic
results when accidents or acute health conditions occur during these times.

When people fall in these categories of the uninsured, health care
workers, patients and tax payers all have to pay.

From my perspective, when a patient arrives at the hospital with a
large brain stem bleed because of a major stroke after he stopped
taking his blood pressure medicines when his retirement plan unexpectedly
dropped his health insurance, and we resuscitate him just long enough
for his family to arrive and say their goodbyes;

And this and similar situations occur where patients between jobs
and in retirement are forced to cut back and consequently die as the
economy worsens, suffice to say, Nurses and Doctors see these sorts
of examples all the time.

Burnout in my profession results because of a profit driven health care
system that isn't taking care of anyone, and Nurses and Doctors are left
to pick up the pieces.

Or take the example of a man between jobs without health insurance, with a
job interview the day after his car slipped on black ice, was flown by
helicopter to an area trauma unit, and spent 2 ½ days in Intensive Care
before he was moved to a regular hospital room.

He sustained major injuries to his spine, including fractured and
compressed vertebrae, and shattered discs.

This man was incapable of attending the job interview, of a job he was
favored to get, and now has a huge hospital bill after major surgery to
his spine, transport by helicopter, and an extended hospital stay.

Or the example of an 89 year old woman, Merle Kuznik, who broke her right
hip after suffering a major stroke on her left side. The nursing home she
was in insisted that Merle Kuznik apply for Medicaid to pay for expenses
not paid by Medicare.

When the paperwork was not completed in a timely fashion, local Constables
showed up to her nursing home room, with guns visible but in their holsters,
and told her she would have to go to jail for 3 days, if she did not pay.

Merle's daughter Mary Beth went to KDKA TV and told the story which the
station covered, but Merle was emotionally challenged by the duel threat
of incarceration and economic collapse.

Our bill, HB 1660 pays for long term care and does not involve the
bureaucratic paper work that was created ultimately by health insurance
companies to deny payment to consumers.

If HB 1660 was in place, Marybeth and Merle wouldn't be going through
this degrading experience.

The question is, how many other of our elderly as well as most people
between employment, are having similar experiences that are the worst kind
of humiliations in what is NOT a civil society until we get a single
payer system instituted in our country?

Meanwhile, the health insurance industry continues to lobby to protect their
position and profits, while the system they've created continues to
disenfranchise more and more people in this country every year.

I would be remiss if I did not talk about single mothers in this scenario.

I spoke to such a woman whose yearly income is $18,000/yearly, but because
her ex-husband had insurance that covered little if anything, her 2 children
did not qualify for schip.

She went to her state representative who gave her poor advice: To ask her
ex-husband to drop his insurance, wait 90 days, and reapply to schip,
not taking into account that her ex-husband was court mandated to have such insurance.

Consequently, her out-of-pocket medical expenses continue to mount because
of a system that allows too many single mothers to fall through the cracks.

In sharp contrast, a health care system which includes full and unlimited
medical, dental, prescription drugs, durable medical equipment, home nursing,
mental health, optical, substance abuse, hospice, long-term care, emergency
transport, physical and occupational therapy, will free all of us to make
full contributions to our families and to society.

Malpractice, another overwhelming stress contributed to a health care system
in crisis, will fade.

America will be able to compete in the Global Economy.

The stressors I have described will vanish.

HB 1660 has the singular capacity to bring the haves and have nots together
for a common cause that the Commonwealth of Pennsylvania and America
desperately need.

By having a Civilized Medical System in place, as Chuck Pennacchio calls
it, we can serve our population of patients with a clear conscience.

These are the greatest gifts of all.

Kate Loving Shenk
Nursing Career Transformation

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Misogyny Is Alive But Never Well

Gender and race in Politics: Is it real? Is it important?

Is it a distraction? Is it a way to divide and separate
people
from important discourse and meaningful discussion?

Or when someone blurts out a statement that is innocent
enough,
and then is twisted and pigeon-holed into race and gender
stereotypes, I have to wonder--are these statements
bringing
controversies out of the proverbial closet and making
people
look carefully at themselves?

Or instead of looking at themselves, allow buttons to be
pushed,
become angry and take to making self-righteous commentary,
as
Keith Olbermann did the other night in response to
Geraldine
Farraro's remarks that started by saying that if her name
was Gerald
instead of Geraldine, she never would have been chosen to
be Walter
Mondale's running mate in the 1980's.

Why does Keith Olbermann, who denies making an endorsement
of
either candidate, seem to be endorsing Barak Obama?

Olbermann didn't make a commentary when a woman on Obama's
campaign staff
called Hillary a monster.

And why? Because he wasn't angry enough. He is siding with
the
obvious media favoring of Barak over Hillary.

I was also guilty of not liking Hillary.

Again, this dislike was key for me to look more deeply
into who I
am as a woman.

Why wouldn't I support a thoroughly capable, brilliant and
experienced woman
to be our next President?

She's a woman with years and years of political experience
that spans prior
to her marriage to Bill Clinton.

Is the reason I wouldn't support her BECAUSE she is
thoroughly capable and
brilliant, and I am afraid I am not?

When I disliked Hillary, I projected these insecurities on
to her.

Now that I love Hillary, I project my own capabilities and
brilliance
outside of my self, to her.

Funny how love works.

Frank Marafiote, in the Hillary Clinton Quarterly, wrote a
great piece called:
"Women Who Hate Hillary Clinton."

Marafiote says that professional women hate Hillary
because no matter what
they've accomplished, Hillary is smarter, has earned more,
and has "mashed
more men" than they have.

Professional women feel that their accomplishments pale
beside the likes
of Mrs. Clinton.

Marafiote says that feminists hate Hillary because she is
living proof
that for women to get ahead in the world, they must
subjugate themselves to
the white male power structure, use their married name,
change their hair,
clothes and values to make it in a male dominated world.

Why do country club Republican wives hate Hillary?

According to Marafiote, these are the women with expensive
degrees from Vassar,
Smith, Mount Holyoke and Wellesley who for years coasted
on their
inheritance or the support from their wealthy husbands.

And who are the people who love Hillary?

White, middle aged, middleclass men. These men love
Hillary's
competence, as compared to the incompetence that surrounds
them and all of
us in the work place all day long.

Hillary's the one they thought they married 20 years ago.

And she's far less threatening than their own wives who
are statistically
more than likely to leave with their children, their homes
and their bank
accounts.

So why do I love Hillary?

Because she is gutzy, beautiful, brilliant and resilient.

She will bring out those qualities for all women, if she
is our next President.

Kate Loving Shenk
Nursing Career Transformation

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